i learned how to drive a tractor

I’ve been thinking about my grandmother a lot these past few days and I realized it’s probably because she died this week eight years ago, and as these things tend to sear themselves into our brains, my brain must be telling me: Remember! So I do. I remember how in these past eight years I’ve

had the courage to quit something that made me unhappy

learned to drive a tractor

gotten married

learned how to be married

been pregnant (twice)

had a baby (twice)

become a stay-at-home parent

put money in front of happiness

felt completely alone

put happiness in front of money

found my way back

found a way to love what I do

I think my grandmother would be really happy for me. She loved books and the library and she would have felt this path was right for me. She would love my daughters, too– I can imagine how they’d make her laugh, as she sat, barefooted, on her “davenport,” knitting a hat for a baby yet to be born and listening to The Three Tenors on her stereo.


About asiajane

librarian, mama, bibliophile, foodie, pop-culture enthusiast, and design junkie
This entry was posted in family. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to i learned how to drive a tractor

  1. Glad you found your way back. I found my way back too 😉 Love and Light, Sender

  2. LittleBig says:

    Wow, this is so beautiful.

    We just celebrated my Grandma’s 92nd birthday this weekend and I am astounded by all the changes she’s seen.

    Your grandma was lovely.

  3. Olivia says:

    Oh My God.. what beautiful taste of life- glad you found you way back to what you love the most..
    All the very best..

    Here’s mine:


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